Incomplete thoughts on pride

I have been thinking about this topic for a couple of years and wanting to write a few thoughts.  Currently, we are in a worldwide pandemic and I think humility is on the minds of many people.  This microscopic disease has had the power to bring down the mighty giants of the world and keep us all walking very cautiously. That is humbling. 

I began recognizing pride and ego were at the root of many of our family arguments.  Of course, I can see it more clearly in others, like my children.  As I began reflecting on their struggles with pride and ego, I thought about my own, and I have become horrified at how those two are the root of most of my problems!  At the same time, it is very freeing to recognize this root in my motives, thoughts, and actions.  If you can see a weed, you can pull it out, and I like to do “root work” so it doesn’t come back!   

I am thoughtful about how pride and ego blinded me to the point where I blamed my parents for my own problems for a good twenty years. When my own children became teenagers, I have realized they now blame me for things that are their problems!  I have always heard the older you get, the smarter your parents get, well it’s true! Many of my fights with family or close friends have been largely due to my pride being injured or my ego being inflated, and I don’t want to admit to being wrong or to back down from an argument or idea. 

When I broaden my view and look around, I find that pride and ego haunt our political and societal leaders. Pride and ego plague our movements—they never satisfy me completely because inevitably if you are flaunting the pride of your group, you are oppressing another group. At best you are advocating against injustice, at worst you are a racist bunch of unmentionables. As I look to history or leaders to help me sort it out, I find no one better than Jesus. I put my faith in him and I find him the most humble and the biggest world changer. You cannot top his humility and poverty of spirit that faced political and social oppressors and changed the world. In his footsteps we find Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Nelson Mandela. I was always drawn to these people for their humility. I will spend the rest of my life trying to practice humility. I must, even though most days it evades me. Self love and promotion just doesn’t satisfy, and it surely brings down my loved ones. What can I do? On the one hand, I need boundaries and I don’t want to be run over, but on the other hand, I can’t just run over people and exert my will and opinions. How do you handle your own pride and ego? I am curious. Jesus said lay down your life for others and to consider them better than yourself. As I practice this in my own home and community, I DO find joy and gratitude instead of demanding recognition or consideration. As I extend grace and love and empathy, I find people respond and listen and respect me. I am terrible at this, but I want to learn and grow and keep on trying. This pandemic has handed us an opportunity to face our pride and ego and turn towards humility. It comes at a great price, but I think it’s worth it.